BSA703-Storyboarding Notes

 Not clear that he is getting ready for a date. Maybe add him getting dressed, or grabbing flowers before he leaves. 

Fish at the end doesn't have a connection to anything else in the story. Maybe add the fish at the start? Lone fish=Lone Pavo

Not clear on when the water starts in the restaurant. Needs a clearer start, show water rising?

Doesn't feel nor look cinematic. Very 1 Dimensional. Maybe create more cinematic angles, shooting into corners

Cheap camera angles, no ease in or out. Needs to create the real camera inertia. 

Cut waiter Impression

Cut opening shot, still have room for title card

Perspective needs to be worked on

Work on the 180 rule

Stop centering characters so much

BATHROOM

Horizon line lower, vanishing point needs to be worked. Work on the thirds, re composite this shot. 

Camera is supposed to have a distortion effect.

To much bath tub time, created a creepy feeling. We feel more worried about who he could be as a character. Don't feel the loneliness. 

Water needs to be more apparent that its no real. Metaphor for anxiety. Maybe show water suddenly gone, Pavo sighs in relief

Getting ready for date needs to be re added. 

RESTAURANT

Linger on expression. 

Unflattering shot of Betty, but Pavo is still impressed. Re work what she looks like here

Re order the shot. restaurant wide, into his expression.

Linger longer on Pavo alone in restaurant

head heights need to be re worked

Ian instantly hates Betty because he takes Pavo's set